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December 26, 2013
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if you were here befur mew did read the last one. If you did here is the link mewlion.deviantart.com/journal… enjoy!
~Mewlion
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As you look around the room you see there is so much blood. What the heck is wrong with guy? You think to yourself about how he is holding you as a slave... of love? "You must eat for it will no longer taste well and that would make my little game no longer fun. So start motherfucking eating." He tells you and your not sure if that was kind of bad. Wait, the little game? What little game? You then look down at the food. It does look pretty good. So you start eating it. "After this we shall see the entertainment I have arranged." You very worried about what it will be fake a smile and say "I-I-I can't wait." You the start to loose your need for food when you think about it. Does does he mean he is going to kill some or pail with me or hopefully let me go!? You don't know what to do you are just so afraid yet hopeful. You say "I am done. Shall we go the little thing you have planed for us?" you say it in a way hoping he would not get mad. "Your going yo love it. That low blood Signless who tried to go against me." Oh mog was he trying to scare you?! "oh no thank I feel not really into gore." "It's not like your a mutant like him?" (worried if you are shake your head no if your not) "no of course not" He then blind folds you and starts walking with you. "where where are we going?" Your really scared since you don't know what the heck is going on. You the can tell you just walked into a room. You feel his hand push you on to a soft thing. Oh gog is he going to... Your thoughts get cut off by feel his hands on your arms. Is he holding me down? He claims to love you but it's hard to tell if he does or if he just want your body. "Oh how long I have wanted to do this." you feel a tug on your dress but you slap what you think is his hand off our dress. "what do you motherfucking think your doing?" He asked you in a voice of rage. "please don't" "why would I not?" "you have nothing to gain from it." "I have your virginity." "oh do you?" You smile. You think you can win this. "my flower has been picked already. So you won't get that. Nor if you do this gain anymore love from me" "do you think i believe you?" You keep your game face on. You can't let him know your lieing. "well you could ask the troll themselves" He lets go of your arms. You look at him as if he were still that little boy. You start to remember all about those days. You remember your old moirail was was him? It then hit you.

Flash back
"hello" he said to you when you were younger. You both were both very young. "hi" You give him a big smile. "I am ______. Who are you?" "I am Grand HighBlood. Nice to meet you." "Your really cool. Well we can be friends." " Of course. It would be nice to have a friend." "wait do you have no friends?" you said in your cute young voice hard to say in your voice you have now. "Yeah no one wants me to be their friend." "well then your my moirail!" You smiled and so did he.

How do you two get here? One trying too get the others flower and one trying to stop them from even seeing them. So he takes off the blind fold. You look away from him. "I know you didn't. It's ok. You don't want the monster that I am today." he says "All these years killing red, green, blue, and all the colors of our rainbow blood." He looks so sad. Indigo eyes don't help with the somber look on his face. You look in his eyes. Am I really going to feel this way about him? You think that you might be falling for this horrible yet kind heart guy. When you look at him you see those eyes. Oh they haven't change since the day you left him. You were young so was he when you two had said good bye to each other. You and he cried but later in life you found a new moirail. "Look I will free you and make sure they never bother you again. Just make sure you have a good li..." You cut him off by kissing his lips. You knew you would regret this move soon one day. His eyes wide then close and kisses you. When you look at him you just don't know what your doing. You look for a way out of here. It's to late you know when you give the sign your soul your not getting it back.
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:iconjzlobo:
JZLobo Dec 27, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
Also, seriously, this belongs in the Fan Art > Fan Fiction category, not as a journal.
And while I'm here, you're supposed to start a new paragraph every time someone new speaks dialogue.
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:iconhyllia14:
Hyllia14 Dec 29, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
Everyone has their own way of writing.
Reply
:iconjzlobo:
JZLobo Dec 29, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
If you want to do it wrong and call it "your way," that's no skin off my back.

It all boils down to effort. Your work needs to look like you put effort into it, because if you didn't, then why should people expend the effort to read it? That means editing. You can't spell words incorrectly and then just claim that's "your way of spelling them," no more than you can fudge the rules of punctuation and call that your way. Lack of style isn't a style.
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:iconhyllia14:
Hyllia14 Dec 29, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
Well if you're going to critisize Mew, at the very least try to sound nice about it. You sound rude and judging, and I don't think people like that in general. Unless you were aiming to sound rude.
Reply
:iconjzlobo:
JZLobo Dec 29, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
I was merely being frank. I'm not obligated to sugarcoat advice, when the flaws are so glaring.
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:iconhyllia14:
Hyllia14 Dec 29, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
Maybe Mew is new at this.
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:iconjzlobo:
JZLobo Dec 29, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
All the more reason for her to learn.
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:iconhyllia14:
Hyllia14 Dec 29, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
But still, it's a bit rude, don't you think? :\
Reply
(3 Replies)
:iconphoenixleo:
I have long ago foretold this. :meditate:
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:iconjzlobo:
JZLobo Dec 27, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
I think the news footer algorithm thingy is malfunctioning again.
Reply
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